In the previous article, I told you how important it is to get out of your comfort zone. You should know that you might get lots of criticism as soon as you do so.
How to Handle Criticism?
To start off, it’s important to differentiate between two kinds of criticisms:
- Constructive criticism
- Destructive criticism
Constructive criticism:
We like them. Why? Because they allow you to progress, put things into perspective and do better.
Ex: “Sophia, I understand what you want to do, but what do you think about doing this and that first because of this and that reason ?”
Here, you have an excellent example of constructive criticism that gives you a solution to question yourself in a good way so you can do better.
Destructive criticism:
We want to ignore them. Why? Simply because they are made only to make you feel weak, to make you doubt, but just to hurt you, not to make you progress.
Ex: “Are you crazy? You are never going to make it! It’s impossible” My advice? Ignore them! Yeah, I can feel that you will tell me something along those lines, “Sophia, you are funny … Ignore … easy to say but freaking hard to do !”
Yep, you are right; it’s tough to ignore them …. Especially when they are recurrent …. I have to confess something … a couple of years ago, I was the kind of person who was really affected by destructive criticism. I had those kinds of thoughts in my head: “What if he is right? What if it’s a bad idea? He tried but failed, and he is more qualified than I am … He is right, then. I can’t do this ….”
I don’t think like this anymore. Now those kinds of comments make me laugh, to be honest. What changed in my brain? It’s pretty simple. I had a change of mindset!
Change of mindset:
I just asked myself those two questions:
- “Who is criticizing you?“: I realized that the people criticizing me were the ones who never got out of their comfort zone and were locked in their own bubble, closed-minded, and potentially with a lack of confidence.
- “Why are they criticizing you?” I dug a bit on this one. After some thought, I figured out or guessed that those people were only reflecting their fears on me. Fear of getting out of this famous comfort zone, trying new things, and challenging themselves.
And potentially a little bit of envy/ jealousy. The envy of having the courage to do the same, jealousy of seeing you moving forward while they are stuck in the same place. Remember: it’s always easier to criticize than to act.
Next time someone makes you doubt yourself, just remember that at least you are trying, and they can’t say the same about themselves.
Remember that what is impossible for them doesn’t make it impossible for you. It’s all a question of mindset and of never giving up.
Now when someone says to me, “OMG, you are crazy; you will never be able to do this; it’s impossible”, I just laugh and use it as a booster.
Why get angry, feel bad, or doubt your capacities when you can feel deep down in your guts that you can do it? The best answer to this kind of negative attitude is to laugh and think, “Wait and see darling, I’m going to prove to you I can do it” Giving yourself the power to reach your goal is the best answer.
TO SUMMARIZE MY TIPS:
To summarize, those are my 4 tips – they work for me, hope they will work for you :
- Say thanks to the constructive criticism
- Ignore the destructive criticisms or use them as a booster
- Remember: What is impossible for them doesn’t reflect what you can achieve
- NEVER EVER let anyone who gave up on their dreams tell you that it’s impossible for you to achieve yours.
And, always remember “Be confident, Be you”
Lots of Love,
Sophia
