Commandment 2: Know how to handle criticisms
In the previous article, I told you how important it is to get out of your comfort zone.
The thing is, you need to know, that as soon as you do so you might get lots of criticisms.
To start off, it’s important to differentiate between two kinds of criticisms:
- Constructive criticism
- Destructive criticism
Constructive criticism: we like them. Why? Because they allow you to progress, to put things into perspective and to do better.
Ex: “Sophia, I understand what you want to do but what do you think about doing this and that first because of this and that reason ?”
Here, you have a good example of a constructive criticism who gives you solution for you to question yourself in a good way so you can do better.
Destructive criticism: we want to ignore them. Why? Simply because they are made only to make you feel weak, to make you doubt but just to hurt you not to make you progress.
Ex: “ Are you crazy? You are never going to make it! It’s impossible”
My advice? Ignore them!
Yeah, I can feel that you are going to tell me something in those lines “Sophia, you are funny … Ignore … easy to say but freaking hard to do !”
Yep, you are right, it’s very hard to ignore them …. Especially when they are recurrent ….
I have to confess something … a couple of years ago I was the kind of person who really was affected by destructive criticism.
In my head, I had those kinds of thoughts: “What if he is right? What if it’s a bad idea? He tried but didn’t succeed and he is more qualified than I am … He is right then, it’s impossible for me to do this …”
I don’t think like this anymore, now those kinds of comments make me laugh, to be honest.
What changed in my brain?
It’s quite simple, I just asked myself those two questions :
- “Who is criticising you?” : I realized that the people who were criticising me are the one who actually never get out of their comfort zone and were therefore locked in their own bubble, closed minded and potentially with a lack of confidence.
- “Why are they criticizing you?” I digged a little bit on this one. After some thoughts on it, I kind of figure out or guess that those people were only reflecting their own fears on me. Fear of getting out of this famous comfort zone, to try new things, to challenge themselves.
And potentially a little bit of envy/ jealousy. The envy of having the courage to do the same, jealousy of seeing you moving forward while they are stuck in the same place.
Remember: it’s always easier to criticize than to act.
Next time someone makes you doubt of yourself just remember that, at least, you are trying and they can’t say the same about themselves.
Remember that what is impossible for them doesn’t make it impossible for you. It’s all a question of mind and of never giving up.
Now when someone says to me “OMG you are crazy, you will never be able to do this, it’s impossible” I just laugh and use it as a booster.
Why getting angry? Why feeling bad? Why doubting about your capacities when you can feel deep down in your guts that you can do it? The best answer to this kind of negative attitude is just to laugh and think to yourself “ Wait and see darling, I’m going to prove you I can do it”
Giving yourself the power to reach your goal is the best answer.
To summarize, those are my 4 tips – they work for me, hope they will work for you :
Tip 1: Say thanks to the constructive criticism
Tip 2: Ignore the destructive criticisms or use them as a booster
Tip 3: Remember: What is impossible for them doesn’t reflect what you can achieve
Tip 4: NEVER EVER let anyone who gave up on their dreams tell you that it’s impossible for you to achieve yours.
And, always remember “Be confident, Be you”
Lots of Love,